Tag: satire

Johnnie Cochran Summer

  For the stay at home mom of two mini-defense-trail-lawyers, summer is our “bottom-line-year-end-push” for the “Brush your bleeping HAIR & TEETH”, Law Firm. Our bonus is calculated in our ability to keep loss prevention to a minimum.  If we roll into the next school year with less than 15 new carpet stains, 7000 door…

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I do not need your approval.

From day one, I learned that approval of other humans meant goodness and disapproval meant soul-crushing unworthiness.  Mark Zuckerburg made a multi-billion dollar company off the approval  concept, that stems back to notes in class; “Do you like me? check – yes or no.” Many bloggers are making a ton of money by controversially polarizing…

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give me humor or give me death haiku -ish

A Pharmaceutical Haiku: As I drive thru for pick-up, I swiftly reach toward the tunnel of meds I place my grasp on a crinkly-gleaming white bag of scripts “Express pay please” I say, smiling with giddiness …. I bathe in the knowledge, Co-insurance hasn’t dawned it’s doom, a fire-breathing-loophole-face- palmed-mascara-smeared wack-a-mole-of-automated-phone services yet. I continue…

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Emails to teach:

“— is sick. still hasn’t eaten today. No fever as of this morning but just waiting to see if tomorrow is a possibility. She did get a flu shot this fall..so I’m hoping for the best I’m emailing all of you bc is she misses school she will miss chorus and school class party and…

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Does your head hurt?

I just spent 1.5 hours on the inter webs researching the best face creams because the news is so unbelievably depressing, every sponsored ad on Facebook is how to get, stay or be HAWT for the damn Holidays  all while mastering the program of bolstering your Super Mom-treprenuer productivity by 70000% and Pin all “dis” on Pintrest. I…

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Till I collapse

Ill be a passionate, limited filter, motha-jogger, loud~mouthed, edgy, overprotective, fierce warrior, scrappy survivor till I collapse. And btw that song is my new fave jogging song , . I say jog because I don’t “run” anymore..so maybe I’m not that much of a bad ass.. ‘mae’ juzalil’ (maybe just a little…) I’m up with…


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