mom poem text

One of my closest mom friends sent me one of those “your the best mom and I love you- please forward to 9 moms ..” so o sent her my on the-fly-made-up-poem, just to switch it up a bit. Roses r red Violet r blue No school today Which is crazy boo the roads are…

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blurp # 2 ode to a modern day Dali Lama.

Target under 20 minutes. Less than $100. Used bags & coupons. Bomb-ass deal on Starbucks coffee. Resisted the urge to splurge at Ulta. Laundry NOT in procreation mode. Lived in the moment by guzzling said coffee down like gatorade while speed-reading Melodie Beattie  meditation book. Restrained from smooshy-face-furrowed-brow-syndrome-resting-bitch-face tantrum over malfunctioning  technology. Filled up gas…

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blurp. #1

I am both relieved and saddened that I have more energy when I am not exercising as if I’m in  the Cross Fit Reebox commercial. As much as I have that badassery  within the tire-flippin’ part of my brain, I have to quiet the competitive  need to burn as many calories as everyone I see…

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Writing is the dream where you repeatedly keep dialing the same number, incorrectly.

Based on this title, you are probably are saying to yourself, “Why do you have a Word-Press account if this is what writing feels like to you?”  I  do not know the answer. I know I LOVE writing. I know that my husband calls me the “computer murderer” so sufficed to say, the “dream-phone-analogy” answer…

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if Facebook were a Woman.

If Facebook were woman TEXTING 1) did u see at that lump pic text? SHOULD I SEE A DR? 2) My meal is FANTASTIC, see!! steak-crab-cake-flamin-fusion with a lime-mint-jollyrancher blueberry-choclate-acai-gogi Berry-TINI. It’s FULL of antioxidants. 3)HI! I ATE A PIECE OF KALE! It tasted like a Carmel MACCHIATO, & I LOST 3 LBS & ran…

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Emails to teach:

“— is sick. still hasn’t eaten today. No fever as of this morning but just waiting to see if tomorrow is a possibility. She did get a flu shot this fall..so I’m hoping for the best I’m emailing all of you bc is she misses school she will miss chorus and school class party and…

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memories

It has been suggested that I write three pages of memories every day for my memoir. Here is an excerpt: My mom was a smokier, slightly less rested & less perkier version of Marilyn Monroe with sandy brown hair.  She had that sultry voice  that same pain in her eyes from mental illness on hypersonic…

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Does your head hurt?

I just spent 1.5 hours on the inter webs researching the best face creams because the news is so unbelievably depressing, every sponsored ad on Facebook is how to get, stay or be HAWT for the damn Holidays  all while mastering the program of bolstering your Super Mom-treprenuer productivity by 70000% and Pin all “dis” on Pintrest. I…

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Facebook Posts, I got a new laptop so I’m practicing copying and pasting. So ie /random thoughts.

My addled brain: I love getting updates about Ghostface Killah on my phone. It makes me feel so connected to my homies in the quaint fishing town in coastal Maine. Christmas card address file is a dangerously dysfunctional Matrix of labels: oldchristm1-7. jackedupformattedones wtfarethesedupes? blankmartha I love how I arbitrarily   yell “FIVE MORE MINUTES”…

Read more Facebook Posts, I got a new laptop so I’m practicing copying and pasting. So ie /random thoughts.

Georgia has Menopause.

Weather in Georgia. For the day. “where are my flip flops??” “hats. we all need big fluffy hats today” “will someone PLEASE open the windows?” “my feet are FREEZING, honey will you fetch me some socks from the singles, sock pile. I’m too cold to get up or try to match socks.” “I’m sweating from…

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The Smart Phone Conundrum.

We all have bad habits.  My worst habit (right now)  is thinking that if I “miss” something on my phone , the world might implode, as though, I’m an omnipotent-phone-puppet master.  There are some amazing benefits of smart phones, that have helped me tremendously in my life  I simply need to make a few tweaks…

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Teeny Tiny book passage review

This is the best passage I have ever read, summarizing the destructive forces perpetuated by diet (and sometimes even health/wellness) industry.   We, who suffer with food (and other) addictions are the collateral damage of constantly being bombarded with advertisements that convince us we “are not enough” so we must eat less, exercise more, produce more,…

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Have you found me?

I feel like my brain is in this perpetual world of trying to find myself. A writer?  A blogger?  A stream of conscious writer-murderer?  A compound-sentence destroyer?  A mother? A wife? A sister?  A daughter?   A maid?  A laundry avoid-er?* A celebrity factoid expert? A closet wanna-be-back-up dancer for Missy Elliot? A Nae Nae-dance-you-tube-watcher?…

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10 reasons I love my husband.

My husband’s birthday is upon us, and I always struggle with the “perfect gift”, because quite frankly, I should be gift enough as an adoring wife and mother to his two beautifully mannered children.  Seriously, the one thing that drives me crazy about buying cards, is I can never find the card that truly expresses…

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You are enough.

Here is a link to a very cool video a dear friend and mentor sent me, to tell me that I am Enough, and women are enough!  (dudes, I got made love for you, but ladies first!)  Watch Below: http://themetapicture.com/ladies-interactive-mirror/   Here in my response: Society can be brutal to the imagery of what women…

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Baby SideBurns made me do it…

This blog was spurred by her most recent Facebook post (www.facebook.com/BabySideburns)* AND, Austin Kleon did write a book called Steal Like an Artist and I’m following all his rules. I am not going to insert her Facebook post of the day because  I do not know how to footnote in the world of social media. …

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Obscurity

This statement  sums up a piece my personality as it applies to interpersonal relationships.  I am shocked when people like me and I am shocked when they do not like me.  Lately, I have been struggling with my “writing” career because quite honestly, people behind keyboards “trolling” to comment their “opinions” (opinions is an understatement,…

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Stop Trolling and Food Shaming.

LITERALLY you can find something bad about EVERY SINGLE FOOD on this earth and guess what !!  it’s mostly on FaceBook!! I literally just saw five comments as to why Greek Yogurt is like “omg toats so bad for you like whatever”  I understand going after sodas, twinkies and pop rocks but..Greek FREAKING YOGURT? This…

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It will always be a part of me

I am an exercise-bulimic survivor or anorexic survivor. I was labeled as both by the physicians and nutritionist that treated me during this dark time. These old demons come back sometimes subtly, sometimes fiercely. I also have other “isms” but today, for a short moment,  I will focus on this “minion-to-demon” creature that lies on…

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Social Media is like a bad ex.

Conversation I just had with my husband: Me: “Honey I’m having a ton of anxiety” Him: sigh Me: “look at this article on Facebook that shows a brain scan of a cocaine addict versus one of someone who ate sugar from this ‘Fed Up’ Page.” Him: “It’s  called marketing and SENSATIONALISM” Me: “But Katie Couric…

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