Category: humor

humorous career

Squat-clammed done.

HI. My name is Scrappie. I eat gluten,  dairy, pizza,  sugar and everything in between. At my last Drs appt my Dr said I was in amazing health & based on her stats, I have 2% chance of dying from heart disease..(& she’s wicked smart). I have a muffin top, cellulite, angel wings on my…

Read more Squat-clammed done.

It’s okay.

It’s okay. I like social media, it’s a great creative outlet and I like the humor & inspiration. It’s also a trigger for me for a multide of complex way-to-wordy reasons. Lately, I’ve limited my time greatly on ‘it’ and used it as an outlet BUT not as guide for living. I don’t have to…

Read more It’s okay.

Puppies Ratings of Food Sources

Puppies Ratings  of ‘food’ : Mulch = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Stinky 💩 = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Old band aids = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Sheet rock (Trash day) = Vet Visit Moms Undergarments = Infiniti 🐶s $$Free-range-grain-free-tender-morsels  = ‘Meh’ Longer blogs coming soon..or maybe not..I can’t seem to get my writing /blogging shyt  together. Posted from WordPress for Android

Read more Puppies Ratings of Food Sources

Quick Moments of Clarity

I think we set out selves up for sadness when we place expectations on what we think our future should “be”& how others should “act” , in our presence.  There is nothing wrong with hope & faith, when you realize that the only thing you can control,  is yourself. Posted from WordPress for Android

Read more Quick Moments of Clarity

4 stages of Hunger

I have 4 appetite moods: “Hangry” = “I just don’t care anymore” Dizzy = “I literally can’t even. No One Talk to me or move or look at me.” Satiated and extraordinarily optimistic = “I want to be a dog therapist. Or a Therapist of Veterinarians. Or A Veterinarian The”rapist” OR  “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!”…

Read more 4 stages of Hunger

I might breakup with my FB page.

Facebook is changing it’s vortex algorithm of transcendent madness. again. So instead of 5 people seeing the ramblings of a crazed, but carefully medicated suburban housewife, maybe 2 will ignore it. I will start posting cathartic haikus laced with agressive profanity. Or maybe solely use wordpress. Or follow dance on you tube and learn how…

Read more I might breakup with my FB page.

Emails to teach:

“— is sick. still hasn’t eaten today. No fever as of this morning but just waiting to see if tomorrow is a possibility. She did get a flu shot this fall..so I’m hoping for the best I’m emailing all of you bc is she misses school she will miss chorus and school class party and…

Read more Emails to teach:

Facebook Posts, I got a new laptop so I’m practicing copying and pasting. So ie /random thoughts.

My addled brain: I love getting updates about Ghostface Killah on my phone. It makes me feel so connected to my homies in the quaint fishing town in coastal Maine. Christmas card address file is a dangerously dysfunctional Matrix of labels: oldchristm1-7. jackedupformattedones wtfarethesedupes? blankmartha I love how I arbitrarily   yell “FIVE MORE MINUTES”…

Read more Facebook Posts, I got a new laptop so I’m practicing copying and pasting. So ie /random thoughts.

Obscurity

This statement  sums up a piece my personality as it applies to interpersonal relationships.  I am shocked when people like me and I am shocked when they do not like me.  Lately, I have been struggling with my “writing” career because quite honestly, people behind keyboards “trolling” to comment their “opinions” (opinions is an understatement,…

Read more Obscurity

the Rollercoaster Summer.

I have about a dozen half written blogs. It has been an eventful summer. I just have not have the fortitude to bring any of them to completion. Medicine changes for Momma. My fiercely independent daughter. My incredibly sensitive and defiant son. A million doctors and orthodontic appointments. The constant looming thought of “Am I…

Read more the Rollercoaster Summer.

10 things I need.

Yeah, I know monks live without stuff, but if you know my writing at all, I  am somewhat facetious so please do not take every word I write, seriously! YES, I do write some serious stuff, but my main goal is to make people LAUGH LAUGH AND LAUGH, be inspired and not take themselves so…

Read more 10 things I need.

Arts Night & Toilet Snakes

My morning started with this text to my husband. I’m sorry if its #tmi as the hipster kids say, but I write what I know. Seriously? I haven’t even had my breakfast and my sister stayed over so the coffee is so strong I was so jittery I could barely snake the toilet, or ter~lit…

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Read more Arts Night & Toilet Snakes

Till I collapse

Ill be a passionate, limited filter, motha-jogger, loud~mouthed, edgy, overprotective, fierce warrior, scrappy survivor till I collapse. And btw that song is my new fave jogging song , . I say jog because I don’t “run” anymore..so maybe I’m not that much of a bad ass.. ‘mae’ juzalil’ (maybe just a little…) I’m up with…

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Read more Till I collapse

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