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Laurie Free View All →

Laurie Free has two high-spirited children, with the trial lawyer litigation skills, when it comes to basic hygiene, such as teeth. Her patient, loving husband has supported her through all career endeavors, ranging from teaching Hip Hop Fitness,
(and I flunked "swag school") to peppering him with questions such as,
"Why haven't you turned on the 'wifi-gigibyte-hot-spot, and can you find the Gravatar?"

She does not scrapbook and lifted the name from the show "Friends", when Phoebe told Monica she was "Scrappie". She "scraps" her way with gusto into every endeavor. Yesterday she announced "I want to be a Life Coach"
.. Maybe, one day it will be Scrap-booking, till then I hope you enjoy my blog!

Reinvention in parenthood.

Sufficed to say, I was not an overnight success in any of these adventures. Due to my aloof self-esteem and oddly shaped ego, my expectations were unexpectedly messy. And then came the the loco-guilt-train of despair for all that wasted time and money I could have spent binge watching something on Netflix.

Read more Reinvention in parenthood.

The truth is….

The truth is…I like blogging. I like writing. I like creativity. I like words.  I like complaining about how I have not written anything in a while because I’m busy complaining about how busy I am not writing. Words like Perfunctory pop into my head in the middle of the day for no particular reason.…

Read more The truth is….

Squat-clammed done.

HI. My name is Scrappie. I eat gluten,  dairy, pizza,  sugar and everything in between. At my last Drs appt my Dr said I was in amazing health & based on her stats, I have 2% chance of dying from heart disease..(& she’s wicked smart). I have a muffin top, cellulite, angel wings on my…

Read more Squat-clammed done.

It’s okay.

It’s okay. I like social media, it’s a great creative outlet and I like the humor & inspiration. It’s also a trigger for me for a multide of complex way-to-wordy reasons. Lately, I’ve limited my time greatly on ‘it’ and used it as an outlet BUT not as guide for living. I don’t have to…

Read more It’s okay.

Sabbatical. I am a writer.

I adore my life, I dislike my time management skills. The creative mind seems to be the antitheses of structure. My brain is like a ping pong game of puppies, kids, big 'phat' words that cascade through my brainwaves, betwixt strongly worded Drake-Minaj lyrics as I am run with my head phones JAMMMED into my synapses.

Read more Sabbatical. I am a writer.

Puppy Prose

Puppy Prose : …..I shall tear through the soft people clothes wide-eyed and crazed… till I meet the soft (..the bigger humans more wrinkly and leathery) flesh.. until I hear loud shrieks of delight and fancy. …..I will snub the 345 fancy bacon flavored plastic bones in favor of that squishy, padded  thing my mom…

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Puppies Ratings of Food Sources

Puppies Ratings  of ‘food’ : Mulch = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Stinky 💩 = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Old band aids = 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 Sheet rock (Trash day) = Vet Visit Moms Undergarments = Infiniti 🐶s $$Free-range-grain-free-tender-morsels  = ‘Meh’ Longer blogs coming soon..or maybe not..I can’t seem to get my writing /blogging shyt  together. Posted from WordPress for Android

Read more Puppies Ratings of Food Sources

A love letter to all Bods.

I was inspired to write this blog, amidst the Dad/Mom Bod phenomenon. When I turned 39, I decided it would be a fantastic  idea to break into the fitness industry. There was pressure to eat clean,  train lean and not be mean, while teaching fitness and testing the   the “21-Day-Restriction-I-might-Faint-Diet.”   It stimulated dysfunctional…

Read more A love letter to all Bods.

Quick Moments of Clarity

I think we set out selves up for sadness when we place expectations on what we think our future should “be”& how others should “act” , in our presence.  There is nothing wrong with hope & faith, when you realize that the only thing you can control,  is yourself. Posted from WordPress for Android

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4 stages of Hunger

I have 4 appetite moods: “Hangry” = “I just don’t care anymore” Dizzy = “I literally can’t even. No One Talk to me or move or look at me.” Satiated and extraordinarily optimistic = “I want to be a dog therapist. Or a Therapist of Veterinarians. Or A Veterinarian The”rapist” OR  “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!”…

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ADHD thoughts while Running

I started running in the ninth grade. We had to run one mile for Physical Education and I think it took me thirty minutes. I remember being one of the last people to finish and I still remember the look of haughty disdain from the Physical Education teacher. I was a teeny tiny thing with…

Read more ADHD thoughts while Running

I might breakup with my FB page.

Facebook is changing it’s vortex algorithm of transcendent madness. again. So instead of 5 people seeing the ramblings of a crazed, but carefully medicated suburban housewife, maybe 2 will ignore it. I will start posting cathartic haikus laced with agressive profanity. Or maybe solely use wordpress. Or follow dance on you tube and learn how…

Read more I might breakup with my FB page.

Johnnie Cochran Summer

  For the stay at home mom of two mini-defense-trail-lawyers, summer is our “bottom-line-year-end-push” for the “Brush your bleeping HAIR & TEETH”, Law Firm. Our bonus is calculated in our ability to keep loss prevention to a minimum.  If we roll into the next school year with less than 15 new carpet stains, 7000 door…

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I’m done with fear.

With the expolosion of social media,  the world seems to be lurking with blinding judgement,   dark pain that masks itself as confusing cut throat competition  and  a desparate almost violent need, for attention and approval. .no matter what the cost. As side collateral,   through the venue of mommy blogging & mommy wars*( see note below)…

Read more I’m done with fear.

I do not need your approval.

From day one, I learned that approval of other humans meant goodness and disapproval meant soul-crushing unworthiness.  Mark Zuckerburg made a multi-billion dollar company off the approval  concept, that stems back to notes in class; “Do you like me? check – yes or no.” Many bloggers are making a ton of money by controversially polarizing…

Read more I do not need your approval.

Manual & Odes.

My questionairre manual: hair : “multi-faceted-ombre-infused-highlights-lowlights. a menagerie of color.  weight: “actual or stomach-flu-jean weight?” height:  “actual or slightly-tip-toed?” Ode to Pollen Dear Pollen, I know you are an integral part of our eco system and I love you for that, but just an fyi, my eyes are not flowers. I know they are beautiful…

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that f!!!/ scale.

I have gained a few lbs. I will always have food and body image demons. Here’s the thing..It’s not about  narcissism..I honestly don’t give two shits about what you think of my body. It’s about control, and as a mom of two growing kids in a society where “what’s up is down” with every new…

Read more that f!!!/ scale.

10 reasons I love the Walking Dead

1) Zombies eating entire people and emulating my, “I’m bloated Where’s for effing midol!!!” Pose (think Laurie season 3?) 2) English  actors  masterfully crafting the Southern Accent. 3) Abraham articulating , possibly the best, new profanity, ever to dawn Mother Earth, when faced with fighting off 500 zombies to save the damsel in distress. 4)…

Read more 10 reasons I love the Walking Dead

give me humor or give me death haiku -ish

A Pharmaceutical Haiku: As I drive thru for pick-up, I swiftly reach toward the tunnel of meds I place my grasp on a crinkly-gleaming white bag of scripts “Express pay please” I say, smiling with giddiness …. I bathe in the knowledge, Co-insurance hasn’t dawned it’s doom, a fire-breathing-loophole-face- palmed-mascara-smeared wack-a-mole-of-automated-phone services yet. I continue…

Read more give me humor or give me death haiku -ish

Hope.

Alzheimers is the disease that interrupts our mind by gaps of time, ALS is the one that takes away our body one muscle at a time, Depression sends us to a heavy fog of ash & suns rays never shatter, ADHD is a Rolodex of fleeting thoughts that disallows us to escape from the clatter,…

Read more Hope.