Feelings and Fitness

Staying healthy in today’s world can be physically exhausting and with all the conflicting information, mentally exhausting as well.

I’ve been tracking my.. calories/ in calories out (not obsessively bc that’s a slippery slope for me) I’ve noticed a few things while on this journey:

A) I moderately eat healthy, yummy foods when I don’t cranially-absorb articles about how celebrities/fitness-pros, eat & exercise.

  • I over-restrict then binge when I try to do it like “so and so” celebrity/fitness pro.

B) I’m not the type of person that can “fast” beyond breakfast or cut out entire food groups. I get stabby and my Victor Newman scowl goes full throttle and I end up buying eye serums on Amazon.

C) I don’t weigh myself, I go by clothes that used to be too tight..I don’t think I’ve lost weight but if I’m πŸ’― honest….about it..

  1. .I do FEEL better…& I sleep better (since I’ve been moderately tracking CICO. Most importantly, it tells me the content of what I’m eating. I usually lean toward low fat high carbs because I have higher cholesterol (genetic) and it’s kind of a go- to instinct. Lately I’m eating a bit more fat & protein. I do feel better & sleep better. I’m, by no means, a low carb gal, but I was relying on them like I was still playing soccer 2 hours a day….and that was 20 million Years ago when my metabolism was like…” EAT ALL THE FOOD.”

I know I share A LOT about food, exercise and my struggle with this social media born; extreme-health- culture.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be ripped or at your optimal health.

Conversely, optimal health and being “ripped” can conflict in certain circumstances..I know it has for me in the past.

Lately, it’s hard to find a healthy balance in all this conflation.

The health-world around us seems to be in a polarizing- tug -of war over the “right” and “best” way to eat and exercise.

  • Don’t come at my cardio & pasta, bro .πŸ‘Ÿ

If you get overwhelmed with the fitness/health/food industry ..I get it.

We are all in this together…


It’s not about size or the scale. It’s about FEELINGS. PERCEPTION. VALIDATION.

  • How I feel from the inside out.
  • How you feel when a fitness role-model compares sugar to cocaine.
  • How you feel when you worked your bootie off and you fit back into that black dress you love
  • Or how you feel when I say “I feel fat” , but we are the same size.
  • How you feel when you seem get injured easily and that voice is telling you to “just get over it”

(Hyperbolic-ish examples..that may or may not have happened to me or you…)

This feelings game goes on and on and on when it comes to this particular journey.

It’s incredibly layered and complex.

Most importantly…….

It’s different for everyone.

No one person has the same story.

There is no right or wrong foods.



And to set the record straight ,sugar does not equal cocaine. Yes, you can get addicted to IT, but..you can get addicted to anything…BC addiction is about CHANGING THE WAY WE FEEL!!

I was addicted to having a baked potato with 1/2 cup of low-fat cottage cheese every day for lunch for a two years (during my disordered eating stage) and would loose my mind if I didn’t have access to it.

And I was addicted to running 5-10 miles to burn that potato OFF , AND WOULD lose my mind if I couldn’t.

So ..saying one food in particular is like a drug that can literally Kill you with one dose..it’s fear mongering self righteous bulls..t.

It’s not the food. Or golden arches. Or the coke zero. Or the munchkins (Dunkin doughnuts)./timbits Tim Hortons).

It’s the perception or the feeling that we are bad because we gained weight or bad bc can’t lose it it or we good bc we have a “good body.”

It’s the “drug of choice ” we choose to change that feeling. And yes food can be an addiction..but don’t put that nonsense on sugar,……,honey. Or carbs. Or claim that the keto diet cures all. Ok I digress…

My point is…if your feelings are wrapped up in food and exercise (like mine are), I get you. And know that all that hyped up sh..t you read on line as being the new breakthrough weigh-loss cure..is just that. Hyped. Up. BS = $$$.

Truth be told, I’m still FIGURING this ALL OUT on my journey , and that’s okay. There isn’t a day that goes by that I wonder

“Did I eat enough??”

“Did I eat too much?”

“Did I exercise properly?”

“Omg are carbs really evil weapons of love handle construction??”

These “size” voices are mostly dimmer today and I can squash them.

And on the days where they make me feel bad because I had a two day semi-meltdown trying on swimsuits……

I get up, dust off the gold flecks from this really bizarre self tanning spray and say “I am healthy and I’m enough and I’m sparkly as hell.”

I’m not sorry about the use of the word bro or bae or fleekπŸ‘πŸ‘œ.


Laurie Free View All →

This blog is like the ridiculous sweater I bought at Anthropologie a few years ago. It was on sale and the sales lady told me "it looks awesome on you." It's the most bizarre sweater, and whether it looked good on me or not, is highly debatable. Like these blogs, I look at them at say "Yeesh, what was I thinking,," or laugh or bath in their cathartic qualities. The sweater stays for the same reasons.

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