Reinvention in parenthood.

I had a quick and defensive conversation with my husband about blogs.

Not a conversation, more of my hormones making their presence be known:

Husband: “Oh cool, you wrote today!, there are a bunch of food bloggers coming to….

Me …Interrupts with haughty dignity:

“I ONLY DO THINK-PIECES. I’M A THINKER. THAT’S NOT MY KIND OF BLOGGING, DON’T TRY AND CHANGE ME”

Husband: “Um.”

Me “and another thing.”

Being a parent changes things. I’m twelve years and two growing humans  into this journey.   I am still trying to “re-invent” myself as a person who left her career so fast, there was a pregnant-mom-sized hole in the corporate slogans on the wall.

Every parent, goes through some type of reinvention after they have children.  We go from being able to run out and grab dinner, to having to pack a suitcase of booger wipes and poop catching mattresses in the blink of an eye, or a few strokes of a storks wings.

This is NOT a blog about making side money or the fickle grievances between the stay home parent versus the working parent.  This is a blog about my experience and how I may help  another parent, in the same old-navy flip flops walk  and avoid a few more rusty nails than myself.

I was not an overnight success in my part-time career adventures. I tried human resources contracting, fitness, multi-level marketing, and submitting some of my blog pieces to more established blog sites for “exposure.”  

Due to my aloof self-esteem and oddly shaped ego, my expectations  were unexpectedly messy.  This was followed by the loco-guilt-train of despair for all that wasted time and money I could have spent binge watching something on Netflix.

If you are be traveling along the reinvention path, I have listed some tips and red flags to guide you along your way:

  •  Multi-Level Marketing, but of course, it’s the giant, of work-at-home businesses.   There are some amazing products being sold via MLM companies and undisputed  success of those who are at the top of their game.  That being said, you have to be able to sell or truly want to learn to sell.  You have be able to handle vitriol rejection and outright disgust that you even attempted to discuss the prospect of the business  with another human soul.
    • If you do venture on this path, be careful who you sign up under, because in some cases, success lies in the ability to manipulate the vulnerable.
    • Red flags from the upper crust:
      • “You can make money working 1/2 hour a day” NO.
      • “Create a group, but tell people there is limited space” so..LIE?
      • “It’s a ‘no-brainer’, the product sells itself” HTTN (hell to the no)
      • “I’m learning so much from you.” me? I made .03 cents this month?”
      • “You are a born leader of leaders.”  Whhhhy?
      •  Unclear compensation.  At my last MLM, making money was based on a triangle game of chess pawns.  Putting toothpicks under my nails were more enjoyable than trying to figure out their compensation plan.
  • Sales in Multi-Level Marketing – A 100% SALES job based on a 100% commissions and YOUR ABILITY to sell people ON THEIR ABILITY TO SELL and on and on.       I truly wanted to help people, but the sales “training” was slightly better than the compensation training. Alas, the nail-toothpick  game still  wins!
  •   My sales pitch: “Yes, it is extraordinarily and outrageously expensive!! I love you!!!  Love me!!!!please don’t unfriend me!”
    •  If you enjoy being in front of people and ‘snapgramfacevlogging’, then this job is might be for you.   If the thought of meeting and recruiting new people, to build your tribe, or squad or dynasty; makes you want to eat a lot of carbs, then cry into your mini chocolate wrappers, this job is not for you.

 

  •  Facebook Groups- Tread lightly.  I have created them, admin’d them,  and was  booted out business-boot-camp group. GASP. If you are not a good “rule follower”(like moi), groups may not be your thing.
    • They can be tremendous assets for business, blog or a “bod-bizsquad”, but it’s like being in a 24/7 networking mixer without alcohol.
    • Make sure you are willing to commit to their guidelines/rules before joining.
    • Most blogging groups require a ton of reciprocation.
    • I spent more time reading and commenting on other people’s blogs, than I did writing in my own.  PRO- this is a free and tremendous way of gaining followers and exposure .  CON- you have to be willing to sacrifice a lot of time in hopes that people do the same. * ..it is not quid pro quo. It is random reciprocation.
    • There are tons of non-business based groups that can help you on your reinvention journey. For support and guidance in fitness/health or recovery, I urge you to seek out a free-spirited, simply-guide-lined groups that frown upon politics and network marketing within the group.  (Daily Burn is a great group for support , not only in fitness and health but overall wellness and making changes for your life for the better because YOU want too).

 

  • Know your expectations before embarking on any new adventure.  My gamut of jobs range from raking blueberries to explaining why preaching the Gospel isn’t appropriate in the corporate workplace and I’m still working on managing expectations.
    • Before embarking on any reinvention or journey, write out 3 specific, small goals.
    • Have a back up plan if it does not work out.
    • The back up plan should not be crying in your car.
    • The back up plan can be “Oh well, that sucked, and I am okay with that”
      • okay, you can cry for 1/2 hour, but that’s it!
    • Nothing is FINITE in this world, except for death, so if the reinvention plan did not work out, know that you learned something and that matters.
    • I apologize for the death comment.   The  “But did YOU DIE?” card helps yank me out of my snot-filled-it’s-not-fair tantrums.

 

Learn  from yourself and your endeavors and allow yourself a limited amount of time to grieve your perceived failure.  Write down realistic expectations of what YOU want.  Discuss this with the people in your household.  Most of all, embrace life’s vintage messiness and the reject notion that excessive monetary success and flawless perfection bring joy.

I will end with a quote from Paul Bowles, an expatriate, composer, author and translator. He was a symbol for immigrants in New York City.

“Whenever he was en route from one place to another, he was able to look at his life with a little more objectivity than usual. It was often on trips that he thought most clearly, and made the decisions that he could not reach when he was stationary.”

 

blogging humor multi level marketing parenting social media stay at home parent

Laurie Free View All →

Laurie Free has two high-spirited children, with the trial lawyer litigation skills, when it comes to basic hygiene, such as teeth. Her patient, loving husband has supported her through all career endeavors, ranging from teaching Hip Hop Fitness,
(and I flunked "swag school") to peppering him with questions such as,
"Why haven't you turned on the 'wifi-gigibyte-hot-spot, and can you find the Gravatar?"

She does not scrapbook and lifted the name from the show "Friends", when Phoebe told Monica she was "Scrappie". She "scraps" her way with gusto into every endeavor. Yesterday she announced "I want to be a Life Coach"
.. Maybe, one day it will be Scrap-booking, till then I hope you enjoy my blog!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: