With the expolosion of social media, the world seems to be lurking with blinding judgement, dark pain that masks itself as confusing cut throat competition and a desparate almost violent need, for attention and approval. .no matter what the cost.
As side collateral, through the venue of mommy blogging & mommy wars*( see note below) there has been a birth of insidious hatred of one another due to a difference of parenting styles, mostly seen in the comments section. I know it’s always been there, but now it’s slicing our mom brains with 100 points of ‘advice’ shrapnel.
I’m done with fear.
I KNOW I get “judgey”-prickly and sometimes my chest gets spoltchy towards other parenting that does not match my “brand” and now I know why.. Fear.
Fear that the cruel world will take away my kids.
Fear that if I do not give them the right vitamins , they will get sick and I can not help them.
Fear that if my son doesn’t eat vegetables , it’s because I did not implement the “765 part-plan to vegetable eatin.’
Fear that I’m “Mother trucking messing up” parenting.. because I am JUST NOW, at 43 starting to feel like a whole person.
Fear that I will lose them to mental illness or addiction because of family genetics.
I’m done with Fear.
Scary Monsters? … Google “Top 10 things you should NEVER DO ( OR FEED or say or buy or believe or?? ) as a parent ..and there is your mother trucking scary monster. Or just scroll through any social media venue for too long.
I’m done with fear mongering on social media/internet.
I’m done with fear.
Sometimes if I get twisted up in my Rolodex pretzel logic . ..my brain thinks..
… ” if i just parent “the right way ” or “if I followed the steps in this blog “… I can protect my kids from evil. I know that its not logical, or practical, but it is the truth of what lies beneath my furrowed brow somedays.
Ironically, it is also why I could snap at my kids. I’m inhaling some fear- mongered-blog, through my nostrils into the dark recesses of my brain about how to parent better and why I’m doing it all wrong.
“Mommy can you get me some juice? ”
“No!! Juice Is filled with poisoninous juice antioxidant-monsters!!”
I’m done with fear.
I know there is Safe PLACE I can go to talk about these fears without FEAR OF being judged, ‘shamed’, criticized or be given “helpful feedback”, under the hushed tones of self-righteousness and superiority. I can reach out to the people of mommitment and feel support.
Support that not hidden under the guise of obligation, reciprocation or false pretense. Yes! I want to pay it forward and give back to my fellow moms/ “village people”, but if I am having a bad day, week, month or year, I know within mommitment, there are no empty dues of a sham built on quid pro quos.
It’s all real.
Thanks Julie Maida and this mommitment posse for your honesty and for showing me I do not have to go to my “fear prison” to live, to have a voice, to connect, even to disagree.
Thanks for busting me out of “fear prison” and helping me recognize “fear prison” does not keep my kids, family or my thoughts , safe.
If you want to learn more about Mommittment. Please go to mommitment.org!!
* This is Not a criticism of “Mommy blogging”. I am a ‘Mom/Mommy Blogger”. This is more of a reference to how blogs of any kind, especially ones that deal with parenting ..bring out vitriol anger which in my opinion , is fear based.. I am not immune commenting out of rage because someone challenges my fears or truths. I’m never immune to the “fear” that sometimes takes over my words and thoughts, because I’m done with fear.
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This blog is like the ridiculous sweater I bought at Anthropologie a few years ago. It was on sale and the sales lady told me "it looks awesome on you." It's the most bizarre sweater, and whether it looked good on me or not, is highly debatable. Like these blogs, I look at them at say "Yeesh, what was I thinking,," or laugh or bath in their cathartic qualities. The sweater stays for the same reasons.