Manual & Odes.

My questionairre manual:

hair : “multi-faceted-ombre-infused-highlights-lowlights. a menagerie of color. 
weight: “actual or stomach-flu-jean weight?”
height:  “actual or slightly-tip-toed?”

Ode to Pollen

Dear Pollen,

I know you are an integral part of our eco system and I love you for that, but just an fyi, my eyes are not flowers. I know they are beautiful and all, but please let them go.
Ole Sticky Eyes.

Granny Ts Ode to droppin the mic at Easter blessing

“Lorrrrd, please overlook the slightly over done dinner rolls and if anyone has a problem, they can help me in the kitchen or make their own rolls next time”

Ode to Beyoncé

Dear Beyoncé,

If 711 had been popular in my 20s,  I would have dropped  far less alcohol due to incessant reminders from the Queen Bea herself.

My parenting manual:

The effectiveness of parenting is directly proportionate to therapist visits billed per insurance carrier per family.

My cooking manual to chicken.

I dont always reheat chicken , but when I do,  it’s a splendid jerky of toughness that might just rip your crowns off.



Laurie Free View All →

This blog is like the ridiculous sweater I bought at Anthropologie a few years ago. It was on sale and the sales lady told me "it looks awesome on you." It's the most bizarre sweater, and whether it looked good on me or not, is highly debatable. Like these blogs, I look at them at say "Yeesh, what was I thinking,," or laugh or bath in their cathartic qualities. The sweater stays for the same reasons.

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