I was going to name this “10 Reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others” or “10 reasons why there should not be any comparison between the Stay at Home Mom (parent) versus the Working Parent” or “10 Reasons to accept yourself” These are all very important topics, but I really want to bring LAUGHTER into the blogging world. Life is extremely serious, and there are things that need to be taken seriously, and there are amazing writers out there that are writing about very serious things and they all serve of equal importance in this extremely complex Universe. My problem is that my mind is an open web browser and every serious article/Facebook post/ of “you must change NOW”, exploding in the informational highway, I absorb, over analyze and I get so distracted that I can not enjoy what is right in front of me at this very moment.
I KNOW it my opening paragraph is not Chuckle Hut worthy so on with it. Here are 10 reasons why I will laugh at myself, (and Love) , I hope that you can find some time today to make yourself a quick list for yourself to help you love, laugh and accept yourself as to where you are at this very moment:
1) I wear Jackie Onassis dresses and love 1950s clothes, but I also love really ratchet music. Like ratchet ratchet. Like “Rack City” Ratchet. I mean, please, My Easter Dress looked like something out of Betty Crocker’s 1950’s picture-cookbook, all the while the top ten songs on my playlist are about “droppin’ it low”. I will say; however, I do search high and low for the edited versions. I think that counts for something.
2)In continuation with my eclectic music and fashion sense, the song Let Her Go by Passenger makes me boo hoo like a baby. I do not know if it’s because of all the puppies and horses when it first came out or if it’s because it strikes some kind of peri-menopausal-tear-duct-gland or if when it’s played someone is cutting a onion nearby? I don’t know. It just makes me cry. It’s truly a beautiful song.
3) I cannot fold clothes if the floor needs to be vacuumed. For some reason it makes no earthly sense to me to be folding and putting away clothes when the floor is dirty. You can imagine the havoc this wreaks if I get sick or my vacuum dies and my mop is on the fritz. My sister lived with us for a while. She was very “on top” of the laundry. If I saw her folding any stack of laundry, I would IMMEDIATELY, get the vacuum or mop out and start cleaning the floors. I would STOP whatever I was doing or convince her that she did not need to be folding the laundry because I am her sister and she should know I am just weird.
4) I have panic attacks at the grocery store when people bag my groceries. I have to literally bite the inside of my cheek. I can’t do self- check out either because I am very very slow and someone usually steps in and “assists” then I am back to the same conundrum. Today I had a little freak out session because the bag person put all my cold stuff in the non cold recycle bags and vice-versa. Yes, I re-arranged all of this before loading into the car. I am sure I gave the person reading her People magazine in the car next to me a huge chuckle.
5) I am a horrendous drive-way driver. Recently, I was at a friend’s house and I literally drove right up over her cable box. It was pretty big. Cable still works in case you were wondering. Oh, and last summer, my husband got a new truck with the back up ALARM system with the giant camera. I am backing up while we are on our annual beach vacation trip (so in my defense I was in a strange driveway) and the camera goes pitch black and the alarm things starts screaming, and I call my husband and ask him “Why is rear aid back up alert flashing on the screen and why is it beeping extremely loud?’ His response; “YOU ARE ABOUT TO HIT SOMETHING!!!” Lo and Behold , there was a GIANT PALM TREE about five centimeters away from the bumper. My friends were laughing so hard they could not even stand up.
6) I do not do well on highways either. I get very tense in “trafficky” situations. It’s not that I become a bad driver, I become a nervous, white knuckled driver. I hate the freeway or interstate. Two funny stories:
a) One time I was with a friend,about 15 years ago , and I switched lanes rather quickly, possibly without using a blinker, because I had not gotten over fast enough due to my tense driving state of affairs. I KNOW, it was not safe, but I was not intentionally trying to be rude or anything. (that counts! Gold star for me!!) Immediately after my maneuver, I looked back and I “thought” all these people were waving and me and I said to my friend , “Do we know all those people behind us?” as I fervently waved my hand out the window and smiled, and she said “Um no, they are not waving at you, they are giving you the bird”.
b) I drove all the way from Maine to North Carolina with my sister when I went to college. Several several times, truckers would pass us and give me the “hang loose” or “chill out” sign in response to my panicked, white knuckled “10 & 2″ on the steering wheel.
7) There is nothing I love more that to drink a huge soda (ok I am trying to be healthier so I have been drinking a lot of seltzer water, I NEED fizz) and let out a giant burp. I like to burp. I feel like it’s cleansing in some ways. Don’t worry I do not do this in public, it’s purely a stay at home mom type of activity. Drinkin Seltzer and Burpin. Sounds like a country or a rap song. Maybe. I even try to sound out a word or something like “Excellent”… I know juvenile, but oh so rewarding.
8) I love to over analyze, ok wait, maybe I love to “shallow analyze” and ask insane questions during movies that sometimes have absolutely no connection to what is actually going on during the movie. This is definitely a blog for later but here are a few quick ones, “Why would she be wearing something like that during an Zombie Apocalypse?” “Do you think they really really love each other deeply or is it a marriage of convenience?” “Do you think she makes smoking look sexy? or is that just me?” (don’t worry I am not going to take up smoking..it was JUST a question). Again, a blog for later.. because I think I should be a movie critic for all those random questions you have in the back of your mind.
9) I am a Messy Perfectionist. I am still trying to determine what that means. It’s just a crazy way to describe my brain and the way I organize “things”. I want things to be perfectly organized, put away and Pottery-Barn-worthy-showcased, but my brain simply does not operate in that manner; therefore the best way to describe how are organize things in my house is “Messy perfectionism”. The level of organization on Pintrest literally makes me want to seek therapy.
10) I lose chapsticks, lip gloss, hair thingies like there is no tomorrow. And so does my daughter. So then when it comes time to “clean up and organize my messy perfectionism”, I will have 4359 pins & hair things in my hair, 45 lip balms in my pocket until I can find their messy home. Sometimes they never make it home depending upon what other “messy perfectionism” project I delve into on my journey.
This was a bit longer than I had anticipated but I hope it gives you a chance to laugh a little and thing of a few reasons why it’s okay to stop, smell the roses and not try to be 500000 steps ahead of everyone else, even yourself.