let me break it down:
1) Armageddon of arts, crafts & !$@## . this pic doesn’t do it justice. I dumped it all downstairs & hubby turned on a Mark Wahlberg movie THEN he cut me off from Markie mark because I was just sitting in a pile of art supplies with my mouth gaped open watching tv.
2) a lonely bin of crafty crafts that will not stay like this.
3) the door to this cabinet used to be the door to an episode of hoarders.
4) all the misc &^/#! that needs a home.
5) games in the coffee table container thingy majig that annoys me , due to its massive size versus lack of functionality & the fact that my kids hide their vitamins and trash in it.
Archive for the ‘laughter’ Category
Tags: humor in parenting, parenting humor
let me break it down:
Tags: comedy, funny, humor in parenting, laughing at ourselves, laughter, parenting humor
1) My kids slept in outfits below and ate cookies for breakfast.
2) My intention was to get everyone to cute little church at and of the road to get OUR PRAISE ON SON!, today…but,
3) I slept in, ate three breakfasts, watched Adam Sandburg close the season of Saturday Night Live instead.
PS, I only let kids watch a teeny snip it, because I’m a good Mom :)
4) I am on my 5th cup of coffee and have accomplished Zero chores or tasks and I have zero plans to drink a healthy greencrimefightingdeathdryinglifechanging smoothie today.
5) I ALMOST deleted my Joel Olsteen tapings to make room on DVR (by accident!!). I just love that guy, I will watch later, on my seventh cup coffee.
6)..I overreacted in yelling at my husband telling him not to overreact at my overeactions. Right? ,sounds like a 10th grade math~philosophy test question.
7) I have been brushing my teeth with a
Tiana and The Frog toothbrush designed for four year olds, all week and my new toothbrush is still downstairs on the kitchen counter.
8) I spent way too much time reading about the JayzSolangeBey Gate conundrum versus reading about our local Political candidates.
9) Wait, I don’t regret # 8. Politics is like brushing your teeth with said tootbrush coated in sand, grit, oreos, and mayonnaise.
10) I literally cannot think of a #10 because I am that unproductive today so I have left my adoring fans with only 9 reasons..maybe 8, because 9 technically does not even count.
Tags: anorexia, blogging, bulimia, eating disorders, find happiness, food, foodie, funny, haiku, laugh at yourself, poetry, rhymes
Shortest Blog ever by Scrappie Momma:
I stopped counting the calories,
I put the scale in the garage,
I refuse to be addicted
To this perfectionist mirage
Everyday can be struggle
Of “omg is this organic??”
Bc every health article I read
Seems to send me into a panic
Health will ALWAYS be a part of me
BC my 9th grade health teacher was Hawt
Ok that’s not entirely true
But I think I just laughed a lot
I’m trying to live in moderation
Break the chains of control that confine me
So if you see me reading a label in deliberation
Tell me its ok, life is a gift, let it go & be free
I rarely blast out rhymes
This literally just popped into my head
I blog most of the time
Possibly, I just lost my Rap Street cred*
My head is a Rolodex in the wind
Where I control the uncontrollable around me
Somewhere I learned enjoying food was a sin
But thankfully I’m slowly learning to just BE
I have no clue how to end a poem
The words don’t flow as easily
Just a quick glimpse I have shown
& help my day go more readily
* Kind of an inside joke, a lot of aspiring rap artists follow me on twitter. I mean not a lot, but enough where I’m wondering if Scrappie Momma is being mistaken for Lil Momma or Drop Dem Rhymes Momma? Who knows, I just hope there is no misconception that I have 1) any street cred because I grew up on farms, a fishing village and in Shaker Heights Ohio, and 2) that I can rap, because I do try and it’s horrendous.
Tags: comedy, dental tools, dental work, dentists, georgia, humor, humorous, laugh at yourself, laughing, laughing at ourselves, walking dead, zombies
I wrote this a while ago. I’m catching up on all my handwritten blogs. I have had a lot of dental work lately and my favorite drama on television is The Walking Dead. On with it.
1) You witness a dental team utilize a mini arsenal of mini home improvement and home gardening tools ON YOUR MOUTH. This way, if you every need pet zombies for protection (Michonne, Walking Dead) you can loot a dental office and mimic what you witnesses while people were gardening in your mouth; except, precision and pain alleviation will not be an issues.
2)The dental insurance companies cover one toof. So either you have one really great toof, to use when you become a Zombie during an Apocalypse, or you drained your savings to save the other toofies. Either way, you will have something to work with as a Zombie if you visit the dentist regularly!!! Yes I spelled toof incorrectly on purpose. I do not know why, maybe it’s some kind of rebellious gesture towards Dental Insurance companies for the asinine policy of COVERING ONE TOOF OR ONE QUADRANT of said Toofies.
- Side note. I had ZERO clue on how to spell asinine. So I looked up “assynyne” on google. Apparently it’s very popular name for hip hop groups and rock bands. And YES, I know how to spell toof. Remember, I’m rebelling.
3)Laughing Gas is awesome. So if things start to go south during a Zombie Apocalypse, find a dental office STAT, to hide your posse in and hook yo’self up playah.
- I mean “go south” as it go poorly. Not “move towards the south”. This can be confusing, hence my clarification, because the Walking Dead is filmed in the South, in Georgia. I never really thought of where the term “go South” as in “going poorly” comes from….?
4) Dental people have fabulous teeth. Zombies do not.
5) Dental offices are shiny, nice, sanitized, and play great family friendly movies like “Up” and “Despicable Me”; whereas, any warehouse or church or home you take refuge in during a Zombie Apocalypse, you will most certainly not have said amenities.
6) If you are in a Zombie Apocalypse, make sure you have one of those Novocaine Needles filled with Novocaine. That way if you are about to get bit, you can jab the pre-bit area with said needle and it won’t hurt as much.
“No Pain, you will be slain” You may have to tell your Zombie-Attacker- Non -Human -Walker thing, to hold off for about five minutes until the Novocaine kicks in though…
7) Dental offices are loaded with awesome supplies and weapons to loot during a Zombie Apocalypse, For survivors AND to ward off Zombies. Think about it. Also DON’T FORGET TO ROLL THAT LAUGHING GAS MACHINE WITH YOU WHEN YOU HEAD BACK TO PEOPLE-ALIVE-HUMANS CAMP. Seriously. Don’t leave home without it.
8) If you go to the dental office a lot for surgeries etc, you are prepared for Zombie Attack pain.
9) If it were the Dental People versus Zombies as last people on earth, I would place big money on the Dental People winning. They have great tools, they have great teeth, they know how to keep sanitized and ward of zombie germs and mutations, and they will all be high on laughing gas so it won’t really matter anyways.
10) If you have great dental coverage and stay up to date on all your dental appointments, you will make one hell of a Zombie during an apocalypse, that’s the same as #2 , but that’s all I got.