There are SEVENTY ONE ROADS IN ATLANTA WITH THE WORD PEACH-TREE IN THE NAME. Look, I do not have a very good sense of direction, in fact, I have gotten lost a multitude of times; however I have lived in Georgia for a cumulative total of eight years and I have NEVER gotten lost as much as I have in this state.
I indicated one major conundrum above. Imagine Siri or the google chick’s confusion when there are that many road/streets with labeled “peach-tree'”. I have also been cited a few times for illegal u-turn, all in Georgia (amazingly I have never received a ticket.. I guess I”m pretty darn charming). Listed below is the common dialogue betwixt Siri or the google dame and myself (I use both depending upon which catches GPS signal first) -
Siri” “make a u-turn when possible”
Me: “for real?”
Siri “No really , make a flipping u -turn now..what is wrong with you anyway”
Me: “Stay calm. Say the Serenity prayer. Let’s not fight today Siri”
Siri: “ok, ok wait. no like totally. no wait, let’s stop and re-route.”
Me: “OHH EMM GEEE are you flipping kidding me?, like whatever gurhhhl. “
Siri: “No, ok I got this. I GOT DIS, hold up. Re-do that last u-turn, and make a reverse u-turn”.
Siri “Oh eff it, turn around when possible and go buy a map”
Although I am grateful that I live in an area that is rapidly changing, it can prove to be quite a kerfuffle to get from point A to point B at random times during the day. Let me explain, firstly, in my area, it seems as though a gaggle of builders all go to the same watering hole and say “HEY LET”S BUILD 7500 subdivisions along a country two-lane road AND THEN widen the road once the congestion becomes completely unbearable.” I am not a city planner , but sometimes the logic and timing of when the department of transportation decides to widen a road, escapes logic.
Secondly, I mentioned random times during the day and I really meant that phrase. One would think, that these two-lane-country-road-DOT-projects, would only get congested during rush hour. That’s simply not the case. Yes, it does become grid-locked during rush-hour; however, there are many times, when I am traveling along said-above road at 10:30 or 2:00 in the afternoon, and it is completely jammed with traffic. Besides my important self, where are all these other people going in the middle of the day?
I say all of this out of good clean fun. I find it ironic that with my complete lack of any kind of directional sense , I live in an area that has lacked originality naming it’s roads and albeit we are the peach state, I think 35 roads with the name “peach” in it would have clued any city planner to pick another fruit or state celebrity. Additionally, the names of the roads are undoubtedly, the longest, I have ever seen in my life.
Peach tree Industrial Boulevard
Lawrence ville-Suwanee Road
Nelson Brogdon Blvd/Georgia State Road 20/Buford Drive/Highway 20 – I’m not flipping kidding you – Siri will spit this ALL out when telling you to travel on this road
Buford Highway/Georgia State Road 13
Let’s stop here. The above road (Nelson Brogdon) or /Buford Drive/Highway 20 is NOT to be confused with the road Buford Highway/Georgia State Road 13 are two totally different roads AND I live near both of them, so when I try to give directions to my house I literally have to think about how to phrase this to any newcomer. Better yet, there is a Nelson Brogden ROAD which is not the same as the mouthful of roads (which is just ONE ROAD) listed above. I know right, just reading that makes your head what to explode. KABOOM.
The other day I was traveling to a neighboring town for a trail run (near Lake Lanier, which is a massive lake) thinking, “oh, i’ll figure it out” and lacked the forethought to map out the big picture. With hopeful glee, I knew Siri would pull through and guide my directionally challenged mind. Needless to say, I ended up on Peachtree Industrial Blvd, when I should have been on Nelson Brogdon Blvd/Georgia State Road 20/Buford Drive/Highway 20 fervently yelling at my phone, “Please why are you doing this” and speak-texting into my Facebook inbox that I was going to be late, because heaven forbid I use a map or call anyone directly anymore. That would make too much sense.