The Latching Phenomenom

Posted: October 11, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I don’t know what happened but when I hit forty things changed. Look! it’s not all bad and I swear, I rebelled against it and said it was mind over matter and things weren’t going to change just because of a number, but they did.  Not necessarily in a bad way though, because I feel a whole lot wiser for some reason, and I want to impart some of this wisdom on to you with a few quick tips to avoid the “latching phenomenon

When I was 10, I thought people in their 40′s, knew it all.  Not in a snobby, arrogant way, they just had been through “stuff” and seemed to get a lot of mail, like stacks of mail, so they must be pretty important to be receiving all that mail!!!!! (bills??). Now I’m forty and I’m getting the same stacks of mail and I feel so popular that so many banks and politicians and colleges want ME  to help “support” “stuff” ..   I feel like I am at the age which looked like the “suburban-Dalai-Lama” to me when I was 10.

The Latching Phenomenon. Everything , seems to latch on – from me to my shower door. I call it the “Latching Phenomenon.” Here are some things that I have noticed that have latched on to me/or inanimate objects in my house (clothes/shower door).     Maybe they were here all the time and my vision got better??? or to refer upon my first theme, I got wiser, more intuitive and created solutions quicker than I had previously had in the past? Nonetheless, I wanted to pass along some helpful hints for the Latching Phenomenon.

Here is my Doctor Oz moment, so I’m going to start with the most uncomfortable one first.  If I do not eat PERFECTLY, and drink the perfect amount of water and literally avoid all cheeses like the plague PERFECTLY, “things” slow down.   While this is an uncomfortable topic, think about it how it affects YOUR ENTIRE mood.  Lets just move on to the solution okay?  Here is how I stay “happy” and ,well “unlatched” from those “things” that do not need to be “Latched”.  Prebiotic, probiotic, fruit, veggies, hydrate with water,  and a balanced exercise schedule. I know , it sounds so boring.  However if I constantly keep a steady stream of these types of foods ,water and supplements on a consistent basis , I am able to kick this part of the latching phenomenon out the door!!! Quickly  and to make this more FUN,  I have 3 simple tips. Roast your veggies on stoneware with safflower oil, Mrs. Dash, fresh herbs & sea salt, mix your fruit and prebiotic in a smoothie with powdered peanut butter and your leftover morning coffee, and find an exercise that YOU LOVE.   Google what invigorated you in the past (, hoops, kickball, hunting, skiing..)  I guarantee you will find an exercise program that incorporates what YOU LOVED as a kid or as a recreational hobby. There are a GAZILLION exercise programs out there, and there is one for YOU.  I PROMISE.  ME?  I have always wanted to help people with their fitness & nutrition goals AND be  hip hop dancer or a boxer, so I got certified to teach hip hop, and kickboxing set to loud thumping music!

Secondly, let’s on to move to  chap-sticks,white deodorant, stickers, and mildew (we have moved on from the human body to inanimate objects).  For some reason, every sticker and chapstick my children acquire gets washed and dried on high heat. (ok, ok, if you are my husband reading this, Yes a small percentage of the chaptsticks, might be mine??)  Let’s not discuss my hyper-drive-fast-furious-vindisel-type laundry skills; where attention-to-detail , is overshadowed by the need to  hyper-extreme-wash super-dirty childrens’ clothes on high-hot-speed.  Unfortunately the clothes can be collateral damage when items are not removed  and are washed and dried on high temperatures.  First, if a vaseline or chapstick doo-dad explodes in your washer, your best bet is to find that sucker before you dry it.  Once its dried and that greasy stuff get’s in your clothes, it’s probably ruined with those spots (unless it’s white  , then you can bleach!!bleach!!).  Now, if you catch the catastrophe, take all the clothes out and hold them up to the light and look for the darker ,grease spots.  Spray a ton of resolve or oxi-clean on the spots, add a scoop of oxi-clean back into your clothes and re-wash with warm water ! This will help remove that greasy look.

As for stickers , if you catch before putting in the drier, usually you can scrape off with a scraping tool from your kitchen or place under warm to hot water and soap and scrape the sticky residue off in the sink.  Now, if the article of clothing with the sticker makes it to the drier, it’s a mess, BUT, I have a solution!!!  Mix about 1/3 of a bottle of  non-acetone nail polish remover with about 1 cup of warm water and place garment in the solution in the sink.     Take a kitchen scraping tool ,use pressure to gently scrape of the residue. Add more nail polish remover if  you need too!

For the white-zombied-deodorant-look that you just smeared on your  new black cocktail dress. Don’t fret, I have a solution.  Get a hanger from the dry cleaner that still has the foam cover, dab a tiny bit of the non-acetone nail polish remover on the foam part and rub gently on the white-zombified area.  If you don’t have the foam thing, try a light foam sponge or sponge from the market.  Clear deodorants? they  do not work on me.  I have to use the white-zombie stuff!!!!

Mildew! – I never use to have a problem with mildew , but I also used much harsher cleansers in the past.  I stopped using them a few years ago, because they made my daughter cough a lot and quite frankly made me light-headed.  Now, I use a combination of Clorox Green and water.  For daily spraying of the shower,  especially on the edge and corners and base of the shower, I use a  mixture of white vinegar and peppermint soap!   Simple as a dimple. Get a re-usable spray bottle (new one, don’t mix with any old residue from old cleaners – not safe).  Fill bottle 3/4 way to the top with vinegar and fill the rest with the peppermint soap.  It will look like salad dressing because the peppermint oil separates from the vinegar while still, just shake before you use and spray.  I spray this DAILY on the shower, RINSE, then spray again in just the corners and cracks and floor of the shower and let that sit till next time.. It’s a great way to prevent mildew from building UP and it’s so much better for your respiratory system!

Two other quick tips to help prevent things from “latching”.  I have also noticed, that in my twenties and early thirties, I could eat salads for a week (with lots of blue cheese) , run an extra mile and lose 5 lbs. HmmmUMMM. That does not happen now. ever.   When I  need to get back on track after holidays or vacations of rich and industrious eating!, I have to switch it up with the salads!   I use the Mesculan greens and the darker greens for more vitamins and fiber, and I make my own dressing when I can because I am not a fan of the “Light” dressings and some of those dressings have a ton of sugar and salt in them.  Easy Peasy,   1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil , 1/4 c red wine vinegar, 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar, 2 tablespoons of agave syrup or honey, 1 lemon squeezed,salt, pepper and any spices that light up your life. The second trick? Toss the squeezed lemon in the disposal and add 1/4 cup of baking soda and 1/2 cup of white vinegar (into the disposal and you will help unlatch all sorts of debris and smells from the disposal area)

This is just a brief overview of how I have tried to buck the latching phenomenom in my forties. I will continue to update my blog weekly with tips, ideas, suggestions and opinions on how to enjoy a balanced, well-rounded healthy life!

Peace Out, Scrappie Momma!

September National Recovery Month

Posted: October 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
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This month is National Recovery Month, a month to celebrate, focus on or reflect on what exactly this means to people. For some, it may not mean anything because they may not have “recovered” from anything. However, I think, we all have recovered from something.  Human beings are flawed, life is chaotic; therefore, life is full of challenges, obstacles and bumps in the road.

I can only speak for myself, as this month applies to me and my family in many ways. Recovery is about bringing your life back to normalcy from a life of obsession and extremes. Whether these extremes be food, alcohol, drugs, credit card debt, cult-religion, high-risk life or death adventures, crime, and many others.  I am not going to discuss the scientific evidence of addiction that indicates that alcoholism or drug abuse is a disease and that it’s genetic etc, because I am not a scientist in any way shape or form. I think I maintained a nice C average in all my Science classes in college and I know for certain that I killed every single one of my fruit flies in Biology and had to re-do the lab a few times. Quite frankly that perplexes me because mid-July , my fruit table-/area looks like fruit fly experiment.

I am not sure what leads to someone become addicted or obsessed with certain areas of their life.  I can only hope that through my humor, writing, exposure in social media, my experiences will help people.  I can help others seek help when their life seems manageable and out of control.   People who come from stable backgrounds, fantastic parents and “normal” lives, end up alcoholics or with eating disorders. As well as People who come from broken homes, abusive households , also may end up with an obsessive/addictive disorder. Or in some cases, they may not be affected at all by any disorder.  That is why for me personally, I can not speak to the logic or science behind addiction because this blog would then turn into a 600 page book.  I simply want to churn out a blog that touched on this subject and then leave some 800′s numbers and websites for those who may want some anonymous assistance.

From my formative years through the time I was 18, it felt as if the carpet was ripped up from underneath me every two or three years. I realized that the  more uncontrolled my life felt the  more I need to mask my emotions, put up walls and charge forward. I learned the rule “Survival of the Fittest”, first hand. Slowly , almost subconsciously, I realized that controlled food and exercise was a way that I could reign in a “false” sense of control over my life again.  No sooner than I had put a band aid on my eating disorder, I began to realize the amazing the power of alcohol in  how it quieted any distractions, and gave my life that “false” sense of control.    Every insecurity, anxiety, stress-or, or incessant-cyclical-worrisome-thought was slowly quieted by the  the overall feeling of total and 100% security that alcohol brought me.

Alcohol simply replaced the the same calmness I felt while measuring out my food and calculating how many miles I would have to run to burn off exactly what I ate and more. Amidst the chaos of what was round me, outside the doors, I knew there was nothing that pounds lost on the scale or a giant glass of Pinot Grigio couldn’t fix for me.

“Okay, so where is the humorous slant LJ??” Look, this is a serious topic but I have to laugh at it too.   I love Drunk Girl and Drunk Uncle on Saturday Night Live. One of my favorite lines in a movie that makes me fall on the floor laughing is in “Crazy Stupid Love.” Steve Carrell, insists on getting a drink for one of his female interests,  with demanding confidence because he is desperately trying to learn the rules of being a “playah” and won’t take no for an answer. During  this machismo chivalristic act, the female interest, states “I’m five years sober” and he immediately, screams at the waitress. “no drinks ever, ever, never ever come back to this table with drink ever”  (something like that).    Does some of my sense of humor mask old pain, of course, I think that may be true for a lot of people. I think it’s okay, as long as there is seriousness when needed and the healing process is progressing.  Personally, without humor , my head would explode.

So, is this my “Jerry McGuire moment”.   Are people whispering, “has she lost it by putting her laundry out on the front line like this?” Is she going to jump on her Oprah sofa or start talking about how vitamins and exercise cure postpartum depression. No, I know first hand that severe postpartum depression must be handled by a professional and If I did jump on anyone’s sofa well then I’m sure that would be “frowned-upon” with severe looks of disdain and disapproval.    I’m not writing this for approval or accolades. I am writing on this particular topic because I care and want to help people. I hope that someone reading this blog reaches out to take that first step to get healthy or knows someone that needs help and  passes this along to someone. If I can help one person get healthy, then it doesn’t really matter what I wrote.

Is it a little strange that I work in the fitness industry , and participate in activities that I could obsess over and use to get lost in another eating disorder. Yes, and it is a little scary. I  know when I’m taking everything I see,read, and hear about nutrition/exercise, personally, and then start to question every bite I take or calorie I burn, I’m in trouble. I simply can’t follow some of the more stringent advice of  the leaders in my industry because that would push me into a path of sabotage. I can’t measure my food, carry my meals with me to restaurants or when I travel, or  “cut out” a food group to lose a few, or “clean eat” whatever % of the time they recommend. That would be highly dangerous for ME, maybe not for someone else, but for me, I need to have a little “badunk” in my “badunkadunk” a little “jiggle”  wherever lemon bars go to nestle, and I have decided what’s healthy for my body based on my experience and good old fashioned common sense!!!

With that being said, my hope is that I help others recognize that they don’t have to be a ripped, gleaming idol of fat free perfection in order to be confident and healthy.  I hope, I can bring a strong sense of being healthy ; while being moderate and living life without strict prison rules of what you can or can’t eat.    I do not want to paint that picture of perfection. It’s unrealistic for most  people.  We live in a world of extremes. Moderation is hard to come by these days.     Are their areas I could tone up or shrink? (or in some areas “grow” or “percolate” a little??) maybe. But I’m not going to make that my number one goal. My goal is to use my experience to help people get healthy based on their body type,  and absolutely, no-one else’s version of what they “should” look like.

With all that being said , please reach out or help someone else reach out if a disoder or “ism” has taken over your life/or someone else’s life. Also note that most employers have an Employee Assistance Program EAP, through your insurance , in which you can get five free visits for you or a spouse. It can’t hurt to ask!

National Eating Disorder Association:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-resources/

800-931-2237

Alcohol and Substance Abuse

http://www.addictioncareoptions.com/

800-794-6776

Post Partum Depression

http://www.postpartum.net/

800-944-4PPD (4773)

Alcoholics Anonymous

http://www.aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash

Suicide Prevention Center

http://www.sprc.org/

800-273-TALK  (8255)

September 30th

Posted: September 30, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I  can not stand it any longer. This article has been brewing beneath my blogo-genentics forever and I must compile my thoughts and notes and churn it out. I JUST got finished scanning an article about why PB2 (a powdered peanut butter) is BAD for you, because of blah blah de blah blah. (I use it because it blends better in shakes and it tastes amazing and YES IT HAS SUGAR IN IT but it’s better than a nutter butter or a Reese’s and regular /natural peanut (or almond etc) butter doesn’t blend as well). You know what? Just STOP it already! My article is not about PB2 or PB3 or PB780. This article is about the constant confusion we are creating within the nutrition industry for any “newcomers” who are researching on ways to get healthy! WE MAKE IT TOO CONFUSING.

If I were to heed all of the information that I have gleaned through the years, I would be in my son’s room contemplating how to make cricket salad from our Bearded Dragon’s , cricket stash, because that would be the only way I would avoid EVERY FOOD that polarizing nutritionists and health-nut bloggers are cautioning us against. Unfortunately, the extremist society that we live in is also the catalyst for over-eating and under-eating. I am constantly amazed that America seems to be in the top place for the scale of all eating disorders from obesity to anorexia. In my opinion, all eating disorders, stem from the same place. A need to control and fulfill our chaotic lives with control or lack of control. I can guarantee you that most anorexics, bulimics, obese individuals have endured some type of extreme trauma in their young adult lives (abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, abandonment – the list could go on). So instead of judging or churning out conflicting article after article about how horrible our food supply is for us, let’s try to churn out some positive information on how to help people make better decisions!
I’m going to list the various diets/food plans, etc that are currently in our society today an some of these might be culturally derived. I am in NO WAY SHAPE or form, belittling their existence. I admire each and every one of them for their individuality, creativity, and way to help people over come their ailments or find a healthier way of life. The reason I am listing them because I want you to pretend that you are 12 years old. You come from a family that eats poorly and drinks a lot of full sugared soda, and lots of over-processed foods. You want to get healthy, you can’t go to your parents because their eating habits are poor. You are given permission to google “various diets” and here are a list of diets/foods/ways of eating you find your self immersed in after a few minutes: Blood type, Skinny Bitch, Zone, Wheat Belly, Hollywood, Liquid,Paleo, Primal Vegan,Vegetarian,low carb/low calorie,Hallelujah,Adam & Eve, Cookie ,Breathatarian Weight Watchers, Meta fast, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Atkins, Ducan,Cabbage Soup,Grapefruit,Beverly Hills,Junk Food,Isralie Army ,Raw food and Subway. It took me approximately two minutes to find all of these diets, and there were at LEAST 200 or more listed. It is to be noted, that some of these are cleanses , diets and some of them are total ways of life. It is also to be noted that YES, there is a Cookie diet? a Junk food Diet and a Breathatarian diet which YES, all you do is breath. Some of these diets have similarities and some of them are polar opposites and to someone who is simply try to get healthier , it’s completely mind boggling!!!
I’m going to make it as simple as possible in two paragraphs or less. I do have certification in American Council in Exercise Science and a portion of my certification is based on nutrition and I have been down the exercise-binging-anorexia-self-loathing-yo-yo-crazy-diet-ville town-and-back. No, I haven’t lost 500 lbs or gained 500lbs , so I don’t know what that is like. But I was severely malnourished and underweight for a period of my life, (Also note you can be severely malnourished and overweight at the same time) and then I sky rocketed to an uncomfortable overweight place and I STAYED there for many years because I destroyed my metabolism. The reason I am telling you this? DO NOT MESS with what mother nature intended for you. We are all not built like Super models. I have genetically inherited things that 4 hours in the gym a day will not change. Use your intuition , get the facts from TRUSTED SOURCES, and do not go from one crazy place to another to lose or gain muscle mass or weight.
When you go to the grocery store, you need to load up in the produce aisle. Choose organic IF IT”S FINANCIALLY POSSIBLE. Look, I get it, I’m not going buy a 2 lb bag of teeny tiny organic apples at 5.99 a lb when , the Fuji crisps right next to them, at .99 lb because it fits my budget. Be smart. Select organic when it is possible for you. There are no fruits that are bad for you. If their is a diet that tells you that fruit is bad for you, it is wrong. (unless you are allergic, duh). Same goes for vegetables. Get what you want in this aisle and stock up. And If you do not like to skin/prep and dice, a prepared version of vegetables (no no, not in a butter sauce by Green Giant, we are still in produce aisle people!!!) and you live a busy life (ie carrots, bagged lettuce) that’s ok! Yes, it’s washed and it may have more “stuff” on it, than the un-bagged prepared lettuces and carrots, but it BEATS EATING A CAN OF PRINGLES, because you were not prepared! Use YOUR intuition and YOUR lifestyle as a gauge. For me, I HATE washing lettuce. So I try to get the triple washed lettuce. It’s more expensive, but I know I”ll eat it. In my next article I’m going to discuss extremely quick ways to cook and enjoy vegetables! Frozen vegetables and fruits are fine too, just make sure there is not a lot of other “stuff in there”, like that butter sauce that I mentioned earlier!!!
The big question. “Is Bread really bad for you?”. I can not answer that in one answer or one article. Jarod lost a ton of weight eating subway sandwiches. So this is what I will tell you. MODERATION. A piece of bread is not going to tank you. Toast with smart balance butter or natural peanute butter, is better than two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. When choosing bread, go for the least processed bread you can find, without hydrogenated oils and high fructose syrups. The brands that I know and trust are Peppridge Farm, Quaker, Kashi and if you are looking for flour free, Ezekiel Bread has a great product but it’s in the freezer and some people don’t like it’s super healthy, nutty taste (cough cough, some people being everyone in my family but me). Yes Ezekiel Bread tastes “healthy”, but I love it toasted with smart balance butter, drizzled with honey and banana etc.
When it comes to grains in particular, again, anyone could write a book or ten. Here are some simple rules. Go for the unprocessed grains,and beans the whole oats (slow cooking oats better), natural cereals (but look at the ingredients, make sure sugar is listed towards the end and try to find cereals sweetened with evaporated juices, or unrefined sugars. I would look in the natural section, be cautious of the granola (MY weakness) because it can be loaded with sugar and fat. I would read the ingredients and avoid hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and the less ingredients a product has, the better. IF the ingredients list takes up the entire side of the box and you can’t understand or pronounce 1/2 of the ingredients, walk away my child, walk away. As for beans, I do eat canned beans because of the convenience and I lead a busy life but it’s much better to buy them dry, soak them and cook them from a dry state. However, Moderation and do what you can based on your lifestyle!
“Oh my dairy, oh my dairy oh my dairy Clementine”. Look, diary is evil for some because of lactose. If you are already lactose or somewhat lactose intolerant , you know what to do! If you are clue less, I will give you a few pointers. Strive for organic milks, yogurts and cheeses. Personally for my family, I buy organic milk and regular cheese and yogurt. For myself, I drink mostly almond milk and eat tons of Greek yogurt (unsweetened , I will refer to sweeteners that are better for you than sugar in a moment) , and I do eat cheese in moderation because I love it. I would strive for cage free eggs, that aren’t all jacked up on whatever it is they could be jacked up on if they were caged in and given too much grain etc. As for cottage cheese, sour cream and all the others, choose wisely! Que so Dip, yeah, I get weak in the knees too with that word! Reward yourself with this one, but don’t make it a daily dinner thing ok?
Meats !!!. The wilder and freer the better. I do joke about free range chicken and grass fed beef with friends because, well, it does sound kind of “snooty” to be asking these questions, so I do not get nuts about it. My gam gam lived to 100 years of age and ate a wide variety of foods and is probably chuckling her head off at me right now. She also ate a ton of fruits and vegetables from a local farm, but I know the meat that we ate in the summers was not grass fed or free range by any degree because she always went for the cheapest section due to the affects the Great Depression had on her pocket book!. “Ok we got to eat this meat today, it expires in an hour!!!” If it’s more expensive, yes, it’s probably treated with less hormones etc. Here is my rule, I look for wild caught frozen fish, I search for the sales, I look for chicken that’s not treated, I would love to find more free range chicken, but for right now, I go for the best I can find and treated with the least amount of “stuff”, I do not by chicken nuggets any more, I choose ground turkey, and we only eat red meat in moderation and I avoid bacon and pork products most of the time because every time I eat them, I feel ill. Therefore, my body is telling me, that my stomach does not agree with pork and red meat, however I do not make that a rule for my family! Moderation for everyone else!. Again, rule of thumb? Lean Lean Lean, less is more! (less additives etc) with meats and stick to less than 6 ozs per serving!
Sweeteners! Sugar, in it’s purest form, is not horrendous. Even Sugar itself isn’t terrible for you , in moderation! (unless you are diabetic etc, then you probably are under a Doctors care in terms of your diet). Okay, so this is how I sweeten my yogurt and food that needs to be sweetened. Molasses, dark brown sugar, unrefined cane sugar, dark honey, pure maple syrup, stevia, and with fruit!. Do I use white sugar. Heck ya! I do use it from time to time. I’m not going to be making my beautiful, white delicious sugar cookies with brown sugar. It’s not going to happen. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation.
Indulgences – I get it, we got to have it. Choose wisely, drink cautiously. I do have my vices. I like my coffee and I use cream, and I have no desire to give up either. I like Propel and the Crystal Light Pure, and I drink coke zero , but I limit my intake. Yes, you know it, drink filtered water in it’s purest form as much as possible!!!
You do only live once, (unless you are on the edge of your seat for the premiere of the Walking Dead), so I choose to live a balanced life and eat “clean”, 70 to 80% of the time and the other 20 to 30% of the time, I’m going to eat what appeals to me, regardless of what new book is out on the addictive qualities of grain or some Skinny B from Manhattan knows about food. Those authors are not my stomach, my brain, my experiences, my body. Stay Moderate my friends, stay true to YOU and YOUR HEALTH and let me know if I can help out in any way with getting healthier and living a full, happy life!!

September 20th

Posted: September 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Oh the ideas I had 3 hours ago. You see, I’m in this Personal Development/Personal Growth stage in my life, where I am determined to reach my goals, adhere to my “time management schedule” and ‘Just Do It’ per say like the commercial. You know the one that comes on SUPER LOUD , while you are eating a bag of cheetos ,on the sofa in a snuggie, or snuglet, quiltie, or quiltswaddler, fuzzy robe, or maybe a towel because  its summer and you’re too lazy to change out of your swim suit but you need the towel so the sofa doesn’t get too wet and mildewy.  My point being, your comfortable, and   the lady with the hot-pink athletic bra, the black running shorts with;tousled, yet perfectly- placed hair is RUNNING up a mountain, (not hiking, she’s RUNNING. )  drenched in sweat, YET maybe she has a little lip gloss on, towards the top of the mountain,and you are like, wait, she’s trying to run to the top of the mountain and she stopped to put her JUICY-LIPS-POUT-PLUS ON.  Yeah that one, that strikes the ADHD chord AND the motivational chord all in a 2 minutes sound/video byte?  Where you JUST might get motivated to DO IT.  And you ponder, I just need to “Just do it”, ………. ( PS if you are a dude reading this, your motivating image would be the shirtless Matt McConaughey doing something. Anything. really.)

Nom. Nom. Nom. on the cheetos.

So ‘Just do WHAT’, what should we be doing?”…The moral of this post or the plot, the take-away, is we all have goals and dreams right?  We all schedule our time out on our planners (to some degree) and forget that LIFE is unpredictable. It doesn’t matter if you are single, no kids, dating, single with kids, married, no kids, not married, kid, kids who are not married who have kids, on TLC’s version Big Love with a few wives and lots of kids, two dads/two moms/ with kids, the Cleavers with kids, or Dumphys with kids or you really like dogs and you have a slew of them, or maybe you run a day care and a pet grooming shop so you have lots of kids and pets to deal with daily.  Bottom line, we are ALL BUSY and in this day and age, life goes lightening fast. I suspect in twenty years when I’m busting out my 17th novel, the camera person who takes  my picture for the jacket on the book, is going to be a darn hologram. I won’t even meet him. (or her)and I doubt I’ll even have the chance to get ready because he will just pop up like that person that texts at all inopportune times of the day.

The reason I’m writing this is that I had 12-2, on my schedule to “work on blog” and “re-write goals”.  Guess what happened?  No, I didn’t turn on the TV and get lost in a Matthew MCconaughey Bro-RoMance-a-dramady. Nope. I didn’t turn on the Young and the Resetless (because yes I tape it -to speed-watch it from time to time) to see if any of the babies born last year on the show are now coming home from College and running their Dad’s company. Nope, didn’t do that.  Did something unpredictable happen? Kids got sick? Small tremble in the earth? Trip over a massive pile of legos & sprain my ankle?  Chase loose crickets that got out of their Green Mile cage where they go to “marinate” and “gut-bust” before “meat-ing” their Maker- Echo, the Beaded Dragon?  Take a Nap? Eat a Snack? No, none of that happened, I didn’t get distracted nor did a life altering event occur forcing me to fall of my stream-lined path of Super-Mom productivity.

I spent.Two. Hours. Trying to upload an Avatar. And it’s not even that great of a picture. I literally just kept clicking and re-sizing pictures, randomly , till I figured it out. That might have been part of my problem, maybe if I put a little more effort into figuring out how to post  teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsty , weensy picture on Tumblr , rather than mindlessly blowing through tons of pictures and re-sizing whatever I could find and doing this for two hours,I would have had this finished in like two minutes.

My point being, friends, colleagues, Social Media compadres etc, Life is Unpredictable. It’s messy (GASP, shall I utter, like our current campaign.) I want to inspire you to seize what you have in front of you and relish in it’s joy. Relish in your messy life, create goals, YES, but do not fret about not adhering to every single moment of every single day as according to your day timer, your Iphone scheduler, your massive piles of laundry that didn’t get done, or whatever the case may be.  If you know me, I’m not a perfectionist, but I am a , humm, a “Oh my gosh, what if I don’t get such and such done and this happens and then this happens and then Oprah comes to visit while I’m on vacation and my house is a mess, and oh my gosh, is that a giant cadillac with purple lightening bolts, wow that so cool, I wonder how they did that, okay, wow it’s hot out. I need tea.”  Bottom line, I tend to get 10 steps ahead of myself, before I can get clarity and accomplish my “goals” or reach towards my dreams.  I’m a little messy. A little SCRAPPY.  I’m ok with that. I’m working towards being more organized, less frantic, less “worried”, and enjoy what’s right in front of me at this very moment.   A roof over my head. A laundry machine that holds a MASSIVE  amount of clothes.  A dishwasher that won’t quit , even though I kind of want it too, bc it doesn’t work very well.  A fantastic husband who has supported me through countless battles “within myself” to “find myself” (or my keys, phone , sunglases, chaptstick). A wonderful sister who I just “got back” seven months ago. The rest of my famiy who means more to me than they may know, Fantastic friends and neighbors who have been with me through thick and thin, and Two beautiful, amazing kids, that fill my heart up with emotion I didn’t know exisited.

April 2010 Gram

Posted: April 11, 2010 in Uncategorized
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My Grammie Gram turns 99 !

Grandma used Jergens Cherry Almond lotion every day and a soft powder from the multicolored circular box that carried the soft scent of elegance, grace a beauty when worn by her. She always put a pinch of blush on her cheeks and ruby red lipstick, just enough to give a burst of color, but never overpowering, matching her vivacious and poised personality. She would carefully choose a crisp outfit each morning, to play golf or run errands through her beloved town, topping everything off with her soft Selby shoes that would gently tap on the linoleum floors as she heated the water up for her Sanka and a poached egg on toast…..She also gently closed the kitchen door every morning….so as to not wake her sleeping teenage granddaughter.

I spent my summers and college years at my Grandmother’s house in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains with my beloved Grandmother. They were some of the happiest , warmest , greatest memories in my entire life. I often think about them and they always bring me a sense of calm and peace. Tryon is a beautiful place, and the house my Grandpa built for her was a castle of refuge for me. The grounds were sprinkled with azaleas that bloomed in the spring and the scent of English boxwoods permeated the outside air. Even with all this beauty, it was truly was the essence of my Grandmother’s presence that echoed through every aspect of that house, inside and out. Every fall when I would go back to school, I would breath in the scent of my clothes because the house had this magical scent that would instantly calm me and help me get ready for each year . Grandma scent. I wish I could make a candle to capture all the memories it held for me.

Let’s talk about the memories. I have so many fond memories of time with my Grandmother. As a young child, my Grandmother helped teach me how to swim. She read me books and made sure I had a snack on the lower ledge of her countertop every day. Every night, she would gently tap my back and say “Baby baby babydoll, night night baby baby” until I fell asleep. She made the most delicious cinnamon toast every morning, with grits, or cream of wheat, eggs or whatever we wanted. After swimming until our lips turned blue, our fingers shriveled like raisins and our eyes beat red from trying to see underwater, Grandma would open the window and call us in for lunch. She would make the most delicious hot dogs, perfectly cut down the middle with American cheese delicately melted in the middle. To this day I can’t recreate the hot dog magic my Grandmother made for us at lunchtime. It just never comes out quite right!

When I stayed with my Grandmother as a teenager and into my college years, we would watch the Young and the Restless in the afternoons. I started college each fall, but we would watch re-runs of 90210 in the summer and then she would actually watch the new season in the fall and try to catch me up when I came to visit her. In FACT, my grandmother left me the most delighted messages on my answering machine at college that let me know Brenda and Dillon broke up or that Kelly was dating Dillon … I still chuckle out loud when I think of this.

Grandma was a fiery red head in every sense of the word. She played golf four to five times a week in the 90 degree heat and 80% humidity, came home “dripping with sweat” , she would say. ..and then she would drink two or three glasses of water and say.. “Oh my.. if I drink any more , I will float away”. She was an avid golf fan and of course, would never miss an episode of Lawrence Welk. She held bridge games and would fill me in on who got testy with who because their hearing aid starting ringing out of control or who was screaming too loud because they forgot to turn the “darn thing on”.

And as a Grandmother , the true matriarch of the family, her fiery personality came in handy with the young grandkids. After we asked her for “one more cookie” for the fiftieth time or “can we please go back to the pool for the 19th time that day, or “can we please turn the living room into a six million dollar man setting and catapult off the living room furniture and crash into all the lamps…”…she would eventually stamp her Selby shoe heels and say… “that’s enough, no more, I said no, and I’m not going to say it again”. And we didn’t ask again.

My grandmother is one of a kind, a true gem and beauty inside and out. She always tried to see the good in everyone and took an active role in raising me to become the woman I am today. I learned so much from her humility, her grace, her wisdom and love for her family. She really had an amazing sense of humor and willingness to bond with her grandchildren. We would trade Danielle Steele novels in the summer and count the number of times that “tears streamed down the protagonist’s face.” We sat out by the pool together, watched the Today show, talked about school, boys, Princess Diana, current Presidents, national issues, golf icons or just admired the beauty of the mountains around her house. And to this very day, as a 38 year old woman, mother of two, If I yawn..My grandmother will say “I think someone is ready for B-E-D”, spelling the word bed..as though I’m still her youngest grandbaby. She is such a special person and I love her so very much